


hver gæti mér orð þessi láð?

by kimaracretak



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bonding, Character Death Fix, Gen, MayThe4th Treat, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Recovery, skyfaring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 20:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14528544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimaracretak/pseuds/kimaracretak
Summary: They share something, her and Holdo, and though Paige could never name it the rightness of it sings through her blood like sweet ice.Paige, Amilyn, and the road to recovery on Hoth.(Fic is in English, I promise only the title is in Icelandic)





	hver gæti mér orð þessi láð?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boudour](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boudour/gifts).



> Title 'who should watch over me in this land?' from Eivør, 'Frostrósir'.
> 
> I love both these ladies more than words, and I hope this is something like the fix-it you were envisioning for them!

When the fire fades, the first thing Paige feels is _pain_.

There's a burning in her chest, like her medallion's trying to burrow its way into her skin, and her head throbs in time with the way her vision is swimming.

And then somewhere beyond her pulse pounding in her ears, she hears her name.

"Hey, Tico."

Paige turns her head with difficulty to find herself staring straight into the ice-blue eyes of Admiral Holdo. "Rose," she says, before any proper greeting occurs to her, and, oh, talking hurts too. "The dreadnought."

"Safe," Holdo replies, and Paige can't quite make out her smile but she hears it well enough. "And gone. Well done."

Paige wants to say something else — _where's Rosie_ or _where are we_ or maybe even _thank you, ma'am_ — but her vision's fading again, the hazy blur of colour overtaking everything else. She slips back into sleep wondering why her hand won't come up to grasp her medallion.

 

**

 

The next time Paige wakes up, she feels like she can breathe again. Holdo's still there, sitting next to Paige's bedside, and for the first time Paige notices the bacta patches she's covered in.

"What happened?" she asks, and Holdo's eyes are sadder than Paige has ever seen them.

"We're in the old Rebellion base on Hoth," she says. "You saved a lot of people, Paige."

Holdo reaches out, carefully moves Paige's hand to cover the medallion resting atop her infirmary gown. Her hand lingers over Paige's for a moment, and as she pulls back, Paige sees the burn marks crossing her wrists where her bracelets once rested.

They all scar so easily, these days. Paige wonders what happened after the _Finalizer_ blew to bits under her dying ship. How Holdo got her new scars.

Who else she could have saved, if she'd only been a bit faster.

 

**

 

Paige learns the story in bits and pieces over the next few days, as much from what everyone else does as from what they tell her. Her gunner's eye has nothing to target, so instead she files away what she sees: the way Poe and Kaydel won't quite meet anyone else's eyes, the way the General hardly lets go of Holdo's hand, the way the Jedi talks to herself when she thinks no one else is looking.

The way Rosie seems _happy_.

Paige wishes she could be so happy.

But she can't even talk about it, not really, can't say, _I was ready to die and then I didn't and now I don't know what I am_ , because she's alive and it's enough for everyone else right now.

But sometimes she'll catch Holdo's eyes across the room, and remember the General's references to the _Supremacy_ , the way Rose said she felt the ship tear in half under her feet, and think that maybe it's not enough for _everyone_.

So Paige isn't surprised, really, when Holdo asks her if she'll come to the quarters she's claimed as her own for some tea.

 

**

 

"It's not that I want to die," Paige says. "Or even that I think things would be better if I had." Talking with Holdo is strange now, without the command structure of the _Ninka_ to hold onto. She's still Paige's commander, could never be anything else, but there's a bone-deep sort of _knowing_  they share that Paige doesn't feel anywhere else now, not even when she curls around Rose in the same bunk like they're kids again.

They share something, her and Holdo, and though Paige could never name it the _rightness_ of it sings through her blood like sweet ice.

"It's just that there's a moment of peace right before the end," Holdo says. Her face is half-obscured by her mug, eyes shadowed. Paige wonders what she sees in the depths. "And you never quite touch it again."

"Yeah." Paige takes a sip of her own tea. Too fast, and she chokes on it, throat still raw even with all the medical attention that could be spared. "I think ... I keep thinking it would help if I could fly again. If there were something ..."

Rose can fix anything she can get her hands on, ships and walkers and Echo Base's heating systems alike. But Paige was meant to _fly_.

Part of her is selfishly glad she was too far gone to see _Cobalt Hammer_ 's end. She's never asked if Holdo saw the _Ninka_ 's last seconds. She's never had to.

Holdo sets her cup down thoughtfully. "We have a tradition, on Gatalenta. Skyfaring." She searches Paige's face for a sign of recognition, but Paige just shrugs. "I taught Leia, when we were younger," Holdo continues, unconcerned. "We had a room for it here. I'd like to teach you, if ... if you'd like."

So she smiles. "Sure," she says. "I'd like to learn."

Holdo's smile is dizzying, and Paige's heart lifts for what feels like only the second time since they've left D'Qar.

 

**

 

Paige hangs from the ceiling wrapped in silks and slowly, carefully pulls herself higher. Below, Holdo — _Amilyn_ , she had said, _in this room, I'm just Amilyn_ — waits with one hand on the grav controls to break her fall if necessary.

The Resistance is still laughably far from being back at fighting strength, but they're still alive.

And in this room, Paige still has the sky.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the likelihood there's still a functioning skyfaring room on Echo Base by this time is like zero but .... it's fic, just go with it?


End file.
